Living with a Hernia Songtext

von Weird Al Yankovic

All I do is
Grunt and Groan
Hurts me to walk anywhere

Went to see my physician
Dr. Jones
He took my trousers off
Told me to cough

The doctor said there ain't nothing
To discuss
He said anyday now
I might have to wear a truss

Living with a hernia
All the time such aggravation
Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia
Have to have an operation

Feels so old
Now I live with a hernia

Too much back pain
Good God!
Drives me insane

Can't bend over
Barely crawl
Got a bulge in my
Intestinal wall

Walk real funny
Bless my soul
Can't play tennis
And it's hard to bowl
You can't even do the splits now (say it)
Better call it quits now
Well I'm sick of all this dancing
Anyhow

Living with a hernia
All the time, such irritation
Now I live with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia
Have to have an operation

Well you may not be familiar with the common types
Of hernias that you can get
So settle down let me clue you in
There's incomplete
Epigastric
Bladder
Strangulated
Lumbar's hernia
Erector's hernia
Obstructed
Obligual
And Direct!

Living with a hernia
All the time such irritation
Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia

I feel bad!