Constipated Songtext

von Weird Al Yankovic

Uh huh Extra Cheese
Uh huh uh huh
Save a piece for me

Pizza party at your house
I went just to check it out
19 Extra larges
What a Shame
No one came

Just us
Eating all alone
You said
Take the pizza home
No sence letting all this go to waste
So then I faced

Pizza all day
And everyday
Theres cheese around the clock
Is getting me blocked
And I sure don't care
Of irregularity

Tell me
Why ya have to go make me so Constipated
Cos right now I do
Cause right now I'd do anything to just get my bowels evacuated
In the bathroom

I sit and I wait
And I strain and I sweat and I clench and I feel the pain
Oh, should've taken laxatives
Or had my colon irrigated
No no no
I was feelin' pretty down
'Til my girlfriend came around.
We're just so alike in every way I gotta say.
In fact, I just thought I might
Pop the question there that night
I was kissing her so tenderly
But woe is me

Who would have guessed, her family crest
I suddenly spy, tattoo'd on her thigh
And son of a gun, it's just like the one on me
Tell me

How was I supposed to know we were both related
Believe me, if I knew she was my cousin we never would have dated
What to do now
Should I go ahead and propose and get hitched and have kids with 11 toes
And move to Alabama where that kind of thing is tolerated
No no no

(no no no)

I had so much on my mind
I thought maybe I'd unwind
Try out that new roller coaster ride
And the guide

Said not to stand but that's a demand
That I couldn't meet I got on my feet,
And stood up instead and knocked off my head you see
Tell me

Why'd I have to go and get myself decapitated
This really is a major inconvenience, oh man I really hate it
It's such a drag now
I can't eat I can't breathe I can't snore I can't belch or yodel anymore
Can't spit or blow my nose or even read Sports Illistrated
Oh no

Why'd I have to go and get myself all mutilated
I gotta tell ya life without a head kinda makes me irritated.
What a bummer
I can't blink I can't cough I can't sneeze
But my neck is enjoying a pleasant breeze now
Haven't been the same since my head and I were separated
No no no