Old And Ugly Songtext

von Mr. Ed Jumps The Gun

I don't give a damn about the wrinkles in my face
As long as I keep winning in the wheel-chair.race
The other day I was cruising at the halfpipe-scene
The skaters showin of, if you know what I mean
Try to get the girls by a superdouble Olli
But it was me who got the chicks with my easy triple whisky
I may be older than your jokes, but i'm hornier than pac-man
The nurse keeps knockin it down, but it's coming back like Foreman

That's why I like me

Sometimes I use my hearing-aid for bugging operation
Getting Charly and Camilla in perverted conversation
Sniff the glue out of my toupet is given me a kick
I steel underwear from nurses, my hands are really slick
In my hairy chest , i'm having 4 pacemakers
My body is working really fine, like commander Data

That's why I like me

We are
Oooooooooooooooold an ugly
We are old and ugly

The end of month is coming near, payday is around
I get a whole lotta pension cause I go to 20 towns
Stick the dentures in your mouth and come over to my place
We're having Klosterfraumelissengeist, and we drifting into space
The band is playing Honkytonk, they're called the teethless ten
People say that Woody Wilson used to be their biggest fan
We got a buffet full of diet-food it's giving you diarrhea
Better keep your muscles tight, otherwise see ya

That's why I like me

I'm cheating at the Bingo just like Cincinnati- Kid
Church collection passes i'm takin 40 quit
I'm having 4 people who are doin civil service
When I call this sissies over, i'm sure they're getting nervous
Carrying cases full of liquor to the 18th floor
I got my own slaves the state is paying for

That's...

We are oooooold.....

I don't give a fuck on boygroups and their skiffle ballys
When I show my orange ass, it sure will make em jealous
In winter on Mallorca all the seniors hanging out
We're having lots of group sex, that's what it's all about
We are old you are ugly
We are old you are ugly
.....
......

That's why I like me

We are oooooooooooold.....