I been Norman Mailered, Maxwell Taylored
I been John O'Hara'd, McNamara'd
I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind
I been Ayn Randed, nearly branded communist
'Cause I'm left handed
Tha'ts the hand I use
Well, never mind
I been Phil Spectored, resurrected
I been Lou Adlered, Barry Sadlered
Well I paid all the dues I want to pay
And I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce
And all my wealth wan't buy me health
So I smoke a pint of tea a day
I knew a man his brain so small
He couldn't think of nothin' at all
He's not the same as you and me
It doesn't take poetry
He's so unhip
When you say Dylan
He thinks you're talkin' about Dylan Thomas
Whoever he was
The man ain't got no culture
But it's alright, ma, everybody must get stoned
I been Mick Jaggered, been silver daggered
Andy Warhol, won't you please come home
I been mothered, fathered, aunt and uncled
Been Roy Halleed and Art Garfunkel'd
I just discovered somebody's tapped my phone
Folk rock
I've lost my harmonica, Albert
Writer(s): Paul Simon
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