Slightly Irresponsible Songtext

von Jon Lajoie

I am slightly irresponsible,
Girl, don't let that scare you away,
'Cause I am still reliable,
Just not a hundred percent, baby.

Sometimes I fall asleep without brushing my teeth
And I only floss approximately twice a week,
I don't return phone calls all the time,
Unless it's my boss, I want to stay on his good side.
I always pay my credit cards on time,
But irresponsibly I'd make minimum payments once in a while,
Also I think I may have accidentally killed someone,
I'm not sure if they died, it was a hit'n'run.

I am slightly irresponsible,
Girl, don't let that scare you away,
'Cause I am still reliable,
Just not a hundred percent, baby.

When I park my car, sometimes I leave the windows open,
That's how I got my Blackberry charger stolen,
But I didn't really care, I had a second one,
That my friend gave me when he bought his iPhone last month.
I'm glad no one's noticed the dent in my front bumper.
When I got home that night there was blood all over,
And in the grille there were bits of face, hair and bone.
I cleaned the car when made sure nobody followed me home.

I am slightly irresponsible,
I wonder if that person had a family,
But I am still reliable,
But the guilt's eating away at me.

Sometimes I'm a day late paying my rent
And sometimes I forget the birthdays of my friends,
Apparently they don't have any suspects thus far,
But they know he was killed by a Camry, luckily for me that's a common car.
But there was one witness: a seventy-nine-year-old lady,
I need to kill her, she's the only one who can identify me,
So I break into her house to kill her, but then things get messy,
I didn't realize that her son's family was visiting.

I am slightly irresponsible,
(Ah shit)(Hey, who the fuck are you?)
But I am still reliable.
(Shut the fuck up)
I am slightly irresponsible,
(SHUT UP! SHUT UP!)
But I am still reliable
(What have I done? What have I done? Oh my god, what have I done?)