Everyday Normal Guy 2 Songtext

von Jon Lajoie

You want some more of this, bitch?
Back in the heezy... We could do this all year long

(I′m just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
I told you in the first song, I'll tell you in another
(I′m just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
I don't have a girlfriend, my hand's my only lover
(I′m just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
One night a week my mom likes to cook me supper
(I′m just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
And Michael Keaton was my favorite Batman

I was walking down the street just the other day
I saw these two fine bitches, they were walking my way
"Yo, what you girls doing tonight?" is what I wanted to say
But suddenly I panicked, my voice started to shake
So I put my head down, and I just walked away
I had a bus to catch anyway, it worked out great
Got on the bus, put my headphones on, and pressed play
Sheryl Crow, James Blunt, and motherfucking Ace of Bass
Yo, what can I say? It's just a day in my life
I′m up early in the morning, in bed early at night
To be productive at work, I got to be well rested
Yeah, motherfucker, you heard what I just said

(I'm just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
I don′t like margarine, I much prefer the taste of butter
(I'm just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
My favorite movies as a kid were Superman and Ghostbusters
(I′m just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
I have a hard time opening my eyes underwater
(I'm just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
And I'm not a huge Nicolas Cage fan

I′m from a lower-middle class family
Me and my brothers and sisters played hide-and-seek
I have good memories from my childhood, bitch
My favorite toy was my fucking firetruck, bitch
I used to play with that motherfucker all day long
Until I learned about sex from the Sears catalog
And then I played with my motherfucker all day long
About ten times a day, man, all year long
My favorite song, motherfucker, I don′t like to admit it
Is a Celine Dion song from the movie Titanic

(Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you)
Every time I hear that fucking shit, a tear comes to my eye
Why the fuck did Leonardo DiCaprio have to die?
Yo, I'm not afraid to say that I′m a sensitive guy
Sticks and stones break my bones
But it's the words that make me cry
Like that time in grade three
When a girl called me Stupid Face
She really hurt me, why′d she call me Stupid Face?
Is my face stupid? How's that even possible?
A person could be stupid, but a face, that′s impossible
Shit happens all the time, and you learn how to deal with it
Regular, everyday, normal fucking bullshit

(I'm just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
When I get into a fight, I usually leave on a stretcher
(I'm just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
When I got nothing to say, I usually talk about the weather
(I′m just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
I like the first Back to the Future, but the second one was better
(I′m just a regular, everyday normal motherfucker)
I like red peppers better than the green ones

Ooh-hoo, saving up my money to go buy a new dishwasher
Mine broke about six months ago... Motherfucker
Go, go, go, go, go shorty
It's your birthday
Go party like it′s your birthday
I wasn't invited, but it′s okay
I'll just stay at home, and play some video games