Murder by Numbers Songtext

von Frank Zappa

Frank Zappa (lead guitar, vocals)
Ike Willis (guitar, vocals)
Mike Keneally (guitar, synthesizer, vocals)
Bobby Martin (keyboards, vocals)
Ed Mann (percussion)
Walt Fowler (trumpet)
Bruce Fowler (trombone)
Paul Carman (alto saxophone)
Albert Wing (tenor saxophone)
Kurt McGettrick (baritone saxophone)
Scott Thunes (bass)
Chad Wackerman (drums)
Eric Buxton (vocals)
Mr. Sting (vocals)

Performance by Sting

How'd he get in the show?

Sting & Andy Summers)

Alright . . . Now,
This afternoon on my way down the elevator
We stopped at the lobby,
And I wasduced to a man
Named Sting who I'd never met before.
And, he's a very nice man,
And he came to the show tonight
And I just talked to him in the dressing room
A little while ago and I said:
"How would you, Mr. Sting,
Like to come up on stage and perform with us?"
Now . . .

How's [...] . It's not in my nature to
Kick a man when he's down.
When I saw the first part of the show
I realised I had to come up here and tell you something.
Well, four years ago Jimmy Swaggart said this about me:
He said this here song by The Police,
Performed by the sons of SATAN! BEELZEBUB!
LUCIFER! THE HORNED ONE!
I wrote the fuckin' song, alright?

Once that you've decided on a killing
First you make a stone of your heart
If you find that your hands are still willing
Then you can turn a murder into art
There really isn't any need for bloodshed
You just do it with a little more finesse

If you can slip a tablet into someone's coffee
Then it avoids an awful lot of mess because
It's murder by numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn as your ABC
Murder by numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn as your ABC

Now if you have a taste for this experience
And you're flushed with your very first success
Then you must try a twosome or a threesome
And you'll find your conscience bothers you much less
Because a murder is like anything you take to
It's a habit-forming need for more and more

You can bump off every member of your family
And anybody else you find a bore
Because it's murder by numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn as your ABC
Murder by numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn as your ABC
I said murder by numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn as your ABC
Murder by numbers one two three
It's as easy to learn as your ABC
Murder by numbers A B C D E

Mr. Sting! Ladies and gentlemen . . . Mr. Sting!
Sting!
Thank you! "Murder By Numbers" . . . And then, suddenly