I've gone to Meryl Tankard's alternative dance space
I've lied like Richard Nixon, "yeah the show was really great"
I've been to putrid parties held in upper Melton West
It's all worth it if it passes the ultimate in tests:
Gotta root out of it.
The Sistine Chapel shows us how art and genius meet
Nowadays they go for a latté somewhere in Chapel St.
And talk aesthetic theory 'bout the post-modern malaise
Michelangelo shrugs it off - "hey, well, it gets me laid."
She wrote the Female Eunuch and she don't live here no longer
Drops in to tell us that we are one big Albury-Wodonga
A feminist icon, must have always dreaded
The bloke running down the pub to shout "hey guys, guess who I bedded!"
Go buy yourself a Beamer, bud - ain't no-one that you're foolin'
When you say you like 'em because of their precision toolin'
Some people become rockstars, some commanding chiefs
The end's the same, if not the means, Go ask a catholic priest.
*performed on the festival tour 98/99, originally titled 'Why Did I Write This Song?'.