Burlington Bertie and Accrington Stanley Songtext

von The Waterboys

Said Burlington Bertie to Accrington Stanley
"I do not like that Andy Pandy
He fancies himself as a regular dandy
Let's take him down a stitch"

But unbeknownst to Accrington Stanley
And Burlington Bertie, Namby Pamby
Was sucking a stick of cinnamon candy
And watching from a ditch

Said Namby Pamby to Andy Pandy
"Let us tell Mahatma Ghandi
That Burlington Bertie and Accrington Stanley
Are up to dirty deeds "

Said Mahatma Ghandi to Namby Pamby
"You and I and Andy Pandy
Must enlist the aid of Para Handy
- he's the fellow we need"

So away they rode, Andy Pandy,
Mahatma Ghandi and Namby Pamby
To the home of Para Handy
Beyond the Western Wall

Said Para Handy to Mahatma Ghandi
"I'll summon the brothers Handy Andy,
Dandy Jim and Tony Pandy,
Experts one and all"

Said Tony Pandy to Para Handy
"Me and Dandy Jim and Handy Andy
Will bring you the head of Accrington Stanley
If it be your wish"

Said Mahatma Ghandi to Tony Pandy,
Dandy Jim and Handy Andy
"Bring me the head of Accrington Stanley
On a silver dish"

So Handy Andy and Tony Pandy,
Dandy Jim and Para Handy
Sought the villainous Accrington Stanley
In the East and West

And Dandy Jim and Para Handy,
Handy Andy and Tony Pandy
Caught the villainous Accrington Stanley
In his pants and vest

Said Accrington Stanley "You've caught me red handed.
I'm trounced and I'm trumped, I'm stumped and I'm stranded
But before you go and do something outlandish
Grant me one request"

Said Para Handy to Accrington Stanley
"Make it quick and make it handy
In thirty seconds Handy Andy
Will remove your wicked head"

Said Accrington Stanley "Before you count thirty
I'll swear on the grave of my great Aunt Gertie
The man you seek is Burlington Bertie
- remove his instead !"

But Para Handy and Tony Pandy,
Dandy Jim and Handy Andy,
Andy Pandy and Mahatma Ghandi
Not to mention Namby Pamby
Paid no attention to Accrington Stanley
And beheaded him
Dead

Hudson Street, New York July 1992

On "Glastonbury Song" CD Single