Her Little Office Watch Lyrics

You left for work
While my hand was in the cookie jar.
Just remember this:
It was I who taught you
How to do the Stevie Wonder
And mend nets blindfolded
On a ripping wicker chair.
I taught you how to
Cut the dread locked fur
From the cat's neck

Without drawing blood.
You left for work
With a dozen dead
Snakes in your hand
While I searched for a
Peanut butter cookie,
Or one with raisins and oats.

I've been sleeping till two.
I frequent the sleaziest chat-rooms
In the middle of the night
And eat cold pizza
With my pants unbuttoned,
Waiting for your screen name
To appear, knowing all the while
That you are fast asleep,
Dreaming about wrestling crocodiles
Or winning the lottery.