On Gummy Worms on Dental Floss Lyrics

I figure I'll never have to
Get my own boxer shorts,
Cause people like to get them
For you for christmas,
For your birthday.
And I wonder if any man
Ever has to buy his own boxer shorts,
Or if, like mine,
They always seem to replace themselves
Like fingernails, like hair.

Socks, you buy
When the old ones grow holes --
It's as simple as that.
But with boxer shorts,
It ain't your choice
When the new ones come
And when the old ones go.
And what if I did want to
Buy my own boxer shorts?
What then?
Would it be unwise?
Would I be better off
Spending my dough
On gummy worms,
On dental floss?