Triumphs of a Taxidermist Lyrics

I've been up to no good, as Mother would say,
Indulge me awhile for I've quite a display,
A remarkable likeness, I'm sure you'll agree,
My figure's a triumph of rare artistry.

I've a footman I'd lured from the sevants hall,
In a pose to delight all who call,
And a charming old lady who was collecting for Scouts,
And the vicar who enquired if I'd seen her about.

I've a tableau to please the discerning eye,
A Harem, for one must diversify,
Enchanting believe me, and taken from life,
I was almost reluctant to take up the knife.

I've a salesman to whom I couldn't sey no,
Whom I had to subdue as his attitude shows,
And my piece de resistance, the last word in art,
My firis wife Ophelia from whom I couldn't part.