Father's pruning the roses, the noise it gets me down,
But a snip, snip, snip of the sharp shears and he's planted underground.
Mother knits in the parlour, needles click something cruel,
Now Mummy's wrapped in the armchair, from head to foot in wool.
Quiet please, you know I'm nervy,
What's my plea? Why, it's 'Not Guilty',
I'm not wicked, loved my family,
I just wanted a little peace and quiet.
Brother bought a Bugatti, when it starts the whole house shakes,
But soon he'll be off on a long run, non-stop 'cause I fixed his breakes.
Sister practised piano, she practised night and day,
Then I did what she did to Beethoven, but in a quite ingenious way.
Uncle slept in the study, it's true he used to snore,
But I haven't heard him lately as he sleeps beneath the floor.
Aunty Bertha is quiet, she hadn't done a thing,
Still, I stuffed her in the dryer, 'cause I'd promised her a spin.