I Can Do Without You (From "Calamity Jane") Lyrics

In the Summer you're the Winter
In the finger you're the splinter
In the banquet you're the stew
Say, I could do without you

In the garden you're the gopher
In the Levi's you're the loafer
Like an overturned canoe
Well, I could do without you

You can go to Philadelphia
Take a hack to Hackensack
Hey, I'll never ring a bell fer yer
Or yell fer yer to come back

In the question you're the why
In the ointment you're the fly
Though I know some things are indefensible
Like a buck or two
If there's one thing I can do without
I can do without you

In the barrel you're a pickle
In the goldmine you're a nickel
You're the tack inside my shoe
Yes, I can do without you

In my bosom you're a dagger
You're a mangy carpetbagger
In the theatre you're the 'boo'
I can do without you

You got charms, they ain't bewitchin' me
You've a face no one would paint
I got the darndest itch in me
To be wherever you ain't

In the bullfrog you're the croak
In the forest, poison oak
Though I know somethings are necessary
My half-pint buckaroo
If there's one thing I can do without
I can do without...
You're a knothead!
You're a faker!
You're a bonehead!
Troublemaker!
I can do without you!