100 Bars Songtext

von Canibus

Yeah! That's the beat right there.
I'm about to black out with 100 bars on some professional shit.
So don't try this at home, yo.

Yo, yo, yo
My style of rhyming, is ancient like Aztec's and Mayan's
Because I recognize it's all about timing
Me and my freestyle alliance, practicing African Voodoo science
In front of twenty foot bonfires
Looking skyward, calculating May fifth, two thousand
The nine planets'll be in alignment
The arrival of the prophet, in the cockpit
Of a star ship the size of the Hale-Bopp comet
With mercury ion rockets
And a big ass, ‘Canibus coming soon' poster on the side of it
I'm known geographically, and intergalactically
That's why I got extraterrestrials that want to battle me
They even tried kidnapping me
And they would've snatched me, if their craft didn't get trapped in the Earth's gravity
Engines stalled and failed, crashed into a farmer's field
And that's really what caused Roswell
Undercover operatives working for COM twelve
Disguised as a nigga signed with a record deal
Lyrically, I'm off-scale
So all hail, or get tossed towards Hell, whatever y'all feel
Bruising niggas, confusing niggas, like Chip Fu from the Fu-Schnickens
Hit you with nuclear cruiser missiles
Hear the wild wolf growl
Styles, stockpiled for miles, from the ground to the clouds
Wack niggas wanna be down, but it's not allowed
Interrupt the cipher unannounced and you'll get punched in the mouth
With the Southpaw Southern fist
I'll bust your shit, swell your lip bigger than bubba shrimp
For acting tough as shit, what a wimp
You giant Goliath niggas get shot with a rubber sling
I'm an experiment gone bad
My brainwaves on an encephalograph show that I'm stark raving mad
Your whole scientific staff'll get killed in a nuclear blast
When I throw the Florence flask in my hand
Flammable liquids in the lab explode and you get stabbed with all the flying glass
Trained to blow up commercial aircrafts
Trained in chemical weapons class, just to see how long a nigga's breath'll last
I put him in a leather mask, spray his ass
With a can of pepper gas, then watch him grab his neck and gag
Watch the nigga choke to death as I laugh
‘You wanna battle?' is the type of question you should never ask
Nigga, pick a tougher task, see who the fuck'll last
Whoever lose'll get a soldering iron up the ass
You need to recognize, my hand is quicker than the eye
Quicker than the five speed Jamiroquai drives
A lifespan longer than nine lives, infinite rhymes that can't die
A nigga with a divine mind
I dedicate this to the wise, dedicate it to dames
Dividing myself into a hundred ten times
You can't deny the offering's an offer
Flows that glow with aurora's that spark of light
Water fly like a saucer, with the torque of a Porsche
Murder a million emcees, then autograph all of their coffins
Been getting it on, since I been born, and I'ma live long
And I'ma be getting it on ‘til I'm gone
Look at all the stages I've been on, all the songs that I've spit on
I took an oath to rip everything I get on
A nigga like me should have carpal tunnel syndrome
In the wrist bones from gripping microphones this long
I'm just a small fish in a big pond
That gets pissed off whenever I get picked on
Nigga try to flip and get flipped on
My army march a million strong like the Nation of Islam, with Suede Timbs on
Extremely hostile, fully armed troops, dressed in frog-suits
And night vision goggles
A lyrical lynch mob, shitting on niggas drawn to a hideous form
With horns, and a mink on
Ducking down low like Vietnam, fighting the Vietcong
Screaming, ‘incoming' when I see a bomb
Speak to your leader, surrender your arms
You need about a million more soldiers to even the odds
Plus eight hundred thousand to even consider a war
And two hundred thousand more to even look hard
You better drop your flag and withdraw
My cavalry charge, accompanied by a blizzard of wicked metaphors
And smash y'all, attach y'all to the back of my horse
And drag y'all across the motherfucking asphalt
Nine out of ten niggas is frauds
You know who you are, always talking about your bitches and your cars
Your jewellery and your girls, it's like we from two different worlds
You mother fuckers really get on my nerves
‘Cause I'm beyond them, on some futuristic cyborg shit
I close my eyes when I freestyle so I could read what prints across them
Then raise my arms like a sorcerer and cast a fireball into the audience
To barbecue your brain organs, you feel like you've been thrown in a microwave oven
I flame broil suckers
And hit ‘em with some more shit, the raw shit
Call my reinforcements, the four horsemen
Take a big piece of chalk and, draw a line across the stage pulpit
I dare a mother fucker to cross it
I'll even call my man Black Rob at two in the morning
Tell him it's important, tell him to call Sting three-way, and sing a chorus
Break your camcorders so you motherfuckers can't record it
Call the news, I'll kill your reporters, start a lawsuit, I'll kill your lawyers
Fuck the soft shit and fuck what y'all think
My album's gold, ‘cause my album was the bomb, shit
Y'all niggas got your ass beat ‘cause you asked for it
Got your picture taken and put in a tabloid
‘Cause you a man and you like to touch little boys
You fuck ‘em in the ass, then you give ‘em cash for it
That's some sick shit homeboy
A hundred years ago, they'd have took you to see Sigmund Freud
You fraudulent, feminine, fragile as a feather is
With an effortless blow, I'll crack your whole skeleton
You think you're better than Canibus, where's the evidence?
You got below average intelligence and poor penmanship
You need to shut the fuck up ‘cause your breath stinks
Take fifty cents and purchase a pack of peppermints
Battling me, you'll never win
You thought you was the only nigga that could sneak a weapon in? Nigga guess again
‘Cause after I'm finished wrecking this shit
I'ma drink a whole bottle of Henney, and go fuck a lesbian //