The Handicapped Can Songtext

von Bob Rivers

Handicap
Hey handicap

”All right my little children, gather round those groovy handicapped are here.
So tell me babe, so what kind of handicap do you have?”
“Well I had a motorcycle but it cost me an arm and a leg.”
“I can see that. Pretty groovy appliance. I bet the ladies dig it, hey babe?”

Who goes in the bathroom
Grabs the biggest stall
A handy metal railing
So they don't slip in the bowl
The handicapped
The handicapped
The handicapped can
They handicapped can
Cuz they got a special sticker
Makes them better than you
Makes us better than you
The handicapped park
Anywhere they want
Takin' up the closest spaces
Zoomin' in their wheelchair races
Spittle drippin' down their faces
Yeah yeah yeah
Zippin' through the crosswalk
On a motorized machine
Winning groovy medals
On their own Olympic team
The handicapped
The handicapped
Oh the handicapped can
The handicapped can
Cuz they're pals of Jerry Lewis
And the telethon crew
The handicapped can
Cuz they are very special people
And they're just like you
With some assholes too
”We are the handicapped babe, and we are groovy, know what I am saying? People love to take us shopping at Christmastime, cuz we park so close to the mall.”

The handicapped
The handicapped