As Beers Go by Lyrics

I used to come here everyday,
(I'll have the usual. Uh, make it a triple.)
And to the porcelain god I'd pray.
(Oh, dear God, please not again!)
I was butt-faced constantly,
That was the life for me.
Now, I sit and watch as beers go by.
(Uh, could I get another Club Soda, please?)
My newfound lifestyle really stinks.
(Hey, you know what? Make it a Shirley Temple instead.)

I only order virgin drinks.
(Miss, you think you could do this without the umbrellas?)
And I really miss the sound,
Of throwing up and falling down.
I sit and watch as beers go by.
(You know, my lawyer says in a few months my insurance will
Go down. You know, which is kinda nice. And, you know I am
Saving a lot of money. And on top of that, I haven't woken
Up with an ugly woman in like eight months. Kind of a nice
Benefit, you know? So I got a lot going for me now. I think,
You know?)
I miss the things I used to do,
I miss my brew.
I sit watch as beers go by.
((Man you used to be a lot of fun. What happened?))
(Nothing happened. Why don't you go bug somebody else, okay?)