Welcome to YouTube Songtext

von Bo Burnham

Before YouTube I walked through life,
And now I frolic.
YouTube's been like a father to me,
Except YouTube's not an alcoholic.

Before YouTube, I was just a skinny white kid,
That thought he was funnier and cooler then he actually was.
And now... well, not much has changed but I have a shit-load of money.

Cause YouTube is a place for people to share their ideas.
If by 'people' you mean 13 year old girls,
And by 'ideas' you mean how they love the Jonas Brothers,
I'm just kidding, but let's be honest that's a hefty majority.
And if you don't believe me, well, then you must be a noob.
So welcome to YouTube.

And you don't know what your missing, a-just try searching women kissing,
It's YouTube, it's just what this country's been needing,
A generation of kids who don't waste their time reading.
Am I the only one who thinks that Lisa Nova's hot,
And Chris Crocker's not. No...
He's hotter.

Most of the best YouTubers are either Asian or they're gay,
So there's an untapped YouTube celebrity and his name is George Takei.
And your favorite coat's got a doodoo stain,
I pray to God that that's chocolate rain.
And I find videos of babies laughing a bit intrusive.

Because Barack Obama won the election because of YouTube.
Wait, did I say YouTube, I meant the black vote.
And I think YouTube and Fred are [so cool] [in Fred's voice].
And what the buck will be back in a Jiffy Lube,
So welcome to YouTube,
Welcome to YouTube,
Hey, welcome to YouTube.

I said-a listen and linger,
Charlie the Unicorn bit my finger.
It's YouTube, the impact is evident,
Miss Teen South Carolina just ran for Vice President.
Upload a video, you got nothing to lose,
Except all of your friends.

And the approval of your parents.

Hi, my name is Mary, and I'm 19 years old and I got drunk at a party and I think someone was videotaping it,
But I don't want anyone to see it 'cause I showed half of my boob,
(Sorry, Mary!)

Welcome to YouTube.
Say hello to YouTube,
And say goodbye to your college scholarship.
And if your video doesn't appeal to me,
You gotta change the key-word,

Welcome to YouTube,
I said welcome to YouTube.
And it'll keep on going and it'll never stop.
No, until its privatized.