Army Lyrics

Well, I thought about the army
Dad said, "Son, you're fucking high"
And I thought,
"yeah, there's a first for everything"
So, I took my old man's advice
3 sad semesters
It was only 15 grand
Spent in bed
I thought about the army
I dropped out and joined a band instead

Grew a moustache and a mullet
Got a job at Chick-fil-A
Citing
"artistic differences"
The band broke up in May
And in June reformed without me
And they got a different name
I nuked another grandma's apple pie
And hung my head in shame, no...

I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today

Oh, I think I'll write a screenplay
Oh, I think I'll take it to L.A.
Oh, I think I'll get it done yesterday
(oh, shit!)

In this time of introspection
On the eve of my election
I say to my reflection,
"God, please spare me more rejection!"
'cause my peers they criticize me
And my ex-wives all despise me
Try to put it all behind me
But my redneck past is nipping at my heels (ha ha ha)

I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I've been thinking a lot today
I thought about the army