Crazy ABC's Songtext

von Barenaked Ladies

Hey Steve, hey Ed, that sounds nice, what is it?
Thank you, it's a, it's an alphabet song I'm working on
Oh great, a whole new alphabet, I just learned the old one

A is for aisle, B is for bdellium, C is for czar
And if you see him would you mind telling him?

Okay, hang on a second, yeah aisle, bdellium?
Yeah, aisle like a, like a theater, alright, okay and bdellium?
Bdellium, it's a gum like tree resin, it starts with a silent B
And then czar? Yeah, it's uh like a Russian czar

You know everybody knows apple, ball and cat
I wanted to get into some, you know some stranger words
Right, I see what you're doing

D is for djinn, E for Euphrates
F is for fohn, but not like when I call the ladies

I thought phone started with a P like a Ph
No, it's F O H N, it's a, it's a kind of wind
Yeah, I know what you mean by wind

G for gnarly, I for irk, H is for hour
J for jalapeA+os, good in either corn or flour
Tortillas, let us rhyme

K is for knick knack, L is for llama
Pramma, llama, ding, what's so strange about llama?
Llama, it starts with two L's, what's the second one for?
No idea, I know loser

N for neumonic, M is for mdomo, O is for ouiga board
P for pneumonia, pterodactyl and psychosis, Q is for qat

Okay, Q qat? What? Yeah, it's uh Q A T, it's an evergreen shrub
It's a perfect scrabble word because it's a Q with no U
There's not many of those, you have too much time on your hands

R is for argyle, no it isn't
Okay, you're right, I couldn't find a good R word
S is for SzA? r, a lovely German river
T for tsunami, a wave that makes me quiver

U is for urn, but not like earning money
V for vraisemblance from French and therefore kind of funny

W for wren, wrinkly and who
X is for Xian, an ancient Chinese city, true
Ancient Chinese city, huh? My guitar player, some hotshot

Y is for yiperite, a very nasty gas
And zed's the final letter and by final I mean last

Okay, when you say zed for the benefit of our American friends
You really mean Z, right?
No, I mean zed, like, like Zed Zed Top, Zed Zed Top?

Yeah, you know the guys with the big long beards
Well, except the guy whose name is Beard, he has a mustache
I always thought that was interesting

You done with the alphabet?
No, extra letters I haven't heard of? I think so
This was a great help, I think
With the contribution you made to world literacy

Well, I'm just saying, kids I'm just saying
Think outside the box a little bit, box with an R
Yeah, well, no box with a B A L K S like a pitcher
Ah, as opposed to B A C H S

Right, think outside the box, get into some Rochmaninov
That's Rochmaninov with a W