The Auctioneer Songtext

von Steve Goodman

Now there was a boy in Arkansas
And he wouldn't listen to his ma
When she told him that he ought to go to school
He'd sneak away in the afternoon,
And he'd take a little walk and pretty soon
You'd find him at the local auction barn
He'd stand and listen carefully
Then pretty soon he began to see
How the auctioneer could talk so rapidly
He said, "Oh my it's do or die
I've got to learn that auction cry
Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer"

25 dollar 30 now 30 dollar 30 dollar
30 dollar 30 dollar give me a hollar 30 dollar
Who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid?
35 dollar 35 35 make it 35 and a 35 make it 35 and a 35
Who will bid it at a 35 dollar bid?

Now time went on and he didn't rest
And everybody saw that he didn't jest
He practiced calling bids every night and day
His daddy'd find him out behind the barn,
He'd be workin up an awful storm
He tried to imitate the auctioneer
And dad said "Son we can't stand
To have a mediocre man,
Selling things at auction using our good name.
Now I'll send you off to the auction school
And then you'll be nobody's fool
And you can take your place among the best"

35 dollar 40 now 40 dollar 40 dollar
40 dollar 40 dollar give me a hollar 40 dollar
Who will bid it at at a 40 dollar bid?
40 dollar 45 45 will you make it 45 give me 45 and a 45
Who will bid it at a 45 dollar bid?

From that boy that went to school
There grew a man who played it cool
And he came home a full fledged auctioneer
See the people come from miles around
What to hear him make that rhythmic sound
That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer
Then his fame reached out from shore to shore
And he had all that he could do and more
He had to buy a plane to get around
Well he was the best in all the land
And everybody gave that sucker a hand
And he was the best hillybilly auctioneer

45 dollar 50 now 50 dollar 50 dollar
50 dollar 50 dollar give me a hollar 50 dollar
Who will bid it at a 50 dollar bill?
50 dollar 55 55 make it 55 and a 55 make it 55 and
I sold that hog for a 50 dollar bid