Perfectionist Lyrics

Ellery Sneed had one great need
To do everything just right
If things were not planned and all done by hand
He would ready himself for a fight
One afternoon while sitting alone
He came to a great realization
When it's his turn to die, will there be enough time
Fo rplenty of planned preparations
With a few minutes thought his decision was clear
A fate most perfectly neat

Not a friend could remain to witness his death
So a terminal wine he would treat
The plan was to hold a very large feast
Serving the wine at the end
Joining the fun would be everyone
He'd been calling his friend
Invitations went out, all guests did arrive
The meal looked a great success
Deciding the time he brought out the wine
Up stood a familiar guest
"Here's a toast to our gracious host"
Said Ell's friend Billingford Bluffer
"Never in my life will I taste but a bite
Of a more perfectly planned out supper"