Secondary Waltz Lyrics

The school Christmas party is coming
We ain't doing rugby no more
McIntyre's teaching us waltzing
Out on the gymnasium floor
Out on the gymnasium floor
McIntyre's out of the army
You'll be slippered if you get it wrong
McIntyre's din,
Booms loud in the gym
And we've only got a little shorts on

We've only got a little shorts on

And it's one, two, three, two, two - were all a disgrace
McIntyre tore us apart
And we danced with ourselves,
(when he yelled*) "find a space!"
Waltzing with fear in our hearts
Waltzing with fear in our hearts

Comes the day of the final manoeuvres,
All of our heads are awhirl
It's getting much closer to D-day
This time we're going to do it with girls
This time we're going to do it with girls
In the arena the ladies were waiting
A twelve year old partner to guide
Some matches were fixed,
The rest of us mixed
And a fat girl got left on the side
A fat girl got left on the side

And it's one, two, three, two, two - were all a disgrace
McIntyre tore us apart
And we danced with ourselves,
When we'd all found a space
Waltzing with fear in our hearts
Waltzing with fear in our hearts

When you come to my fights,
And I am under the lights
And you see that my footwork is false
Don't count me out,
At the start of the bout
I'm just doing secondary waltz
Doing secondary waltz

And it's the secondary waltz
Yeah, it's the secondary waltz

(or *when we all)