Pass the Football Lyrics

Betty comden and adolph green

Look at me now,
Four years of college,
Famous professors
Tutoring me;

Scholarship kid,
Everything paid for,
Food and vacations,
All of it free.

Day that i left,
Everyone gathered,
Their cheering still rings in my ears . . .

Ray wreck rah!
Rah wreck ray!
Rah wreck!
Wreck rah!
Rah wreck wreck!
W-e-c, r-e-k, r-e-q,
Wreck, we love you!

Cause i could pass that football
Like nothin you have ever seen!

Couldnt spell a lick,
Couldnt do arithmetic;
One and one made three,
Thought that dog was c-a-t,

But i could pass that football
Like nothin you have ever seen.

Couldnt write my name,
Couldnt translate je vous aime,
Never learned to read
Mother goose or andr gide,

But i could pass that football
Like nothin you have ever seen.

Couldnt figure riddles,
Puzzles made me pout:

Where the hell was moses when the lights went out?
I couldnt even tell red from green,
Get those verbs through my bean,
But i was buddies with the dean
Like nothin you have ever seen.

Passed without a fuss
English lit and calculus.
Never had to cram,
Even passed the bar exam,

Because i passed that football
Like nothin you have ever seen.

Couldnt dance for beans,
Mashed my girls to smithereens.
Sometimes blood was spilled,
Still my card was always filled,

Cause i could pass that football
Like nothin you have ever seen.

Then there was the week
Albert einstein came to speak:
Relativity!
Guess who introduced him? me!

Cause i could pass that football
Like nothin you have ever seen.

Had no table manners,
Used ta dunk my roll,
Always drunk the water from the fingerbowl.
Though i would not get up for any she,
The prexys mom -- age ninety-three --
Got up and gave her seat to me,
Like nothin you did ever see.

In our hall of fame,
Theres a statue with my name.
There we stand, by heck,
Lincoln, washington and wreck.
Cause i could pass that football
Like nothin you have ever seen!