Bacteria Songtext

von Jonathan Coulton

Bacteria. Bacteria? Look, there's bacteria.
Bacteria. Bacteria? You might not see them, but they're there.
Bacteria. Bacteria? Everything you touch.
Bacteria. Bacteria? That's right! Salmonella bacteria.

Well we have to watch out for bacteria that can spoil our chicken.
Bacteria practically everywhere. Everywhere you look.
In the kitchen, inside the cooler,
In the dining area, in the restrooms, on our raw chicken!
And like I said:

Bacteria. Bacteria? Look, there's bacteria.
Bacteria. Bacteria? You might not see them, but they're there.
Bacteria. Bacteria? Everything you touch.
Bacteria. Bacteria? That's right! Salmonella bacteria.

Salmonella grows on raw chicken, especially old chicken.
Moist foods like our salads.
Staph bacteria on the left, and strep bacteria on the right.
Salmonella, Shigela, Clostridium perfringens.
If you didn't wash your hands, they would become breeding grounds for:

Bacteria. Bacteria? Look, there's bacteria.
Bacteria. Bacteria? You might not see them, but they're there.
Bacteria. Bacteria? Everything you touch.
Bacteria. Bacteria? That's right! Salmonella bacteria.

Fever. Cramps and fever.
Dysentery. Fever. Fe-- fe-- fe-- fever.
Vomiting vomiting. Chills. Cramps. Chills and-- chills and cramps.
One square inch, half a billion, salmonella bacteria.

These bacteria really sound serious.
They are when they're left unchecked.
And they could mean a trip to the hospital-- for someone.
Our customers. Wow!
Ourselves. All right!
Our chicken. All right!
And our reputation. All right! All right!

You mean bacteria on me right now?!
Clean, clean, and then clean again.

Bacteria. Bacteria? Look, there's bacteria.
Bacteria. Bacteria? You might not see them, but they're there.
Bacteria. Bacteria? Everything you touch.
Bacteria. Bacteria? That's right! Salmonella bacteria.
Salmonella bacteria.
Salmonella bacteria.