Krongu Green Slime Songtext

von Jeffrey Lewis

Before the land before time, there was a time before land
When the world was just slime, and Krongu was the brand.
Yes Krongu green sludge was the most popular item
There might have been better sludges, but no-one ever tried 'em.

Bought and sold by the platter, green slime by Krongu
It was the most popular matter, it was the most popular hue
It was from sea to sea, it was from dawn to dark,
It had thoroughly cornered all of the market.

All other colours were in absentia back in BC ten zillion,
There was no puce or magenta or chartreuse or cerulean,
No red, yellow or blue, well to put it properly,
There was green slime by Krongu, it was a total monopoly.

If you'd bought stock in there oh for a while it would have sky-rocketed
It would have been mucho deniro that you would have stood to have pocketed
But if you missed out on that ship then you have my sympathies kid
Cos Krongu's value dipped as those slimy seas did.

And land started to pop-up in dribs and drabs at a time,
And creatures started to hop-up from the oceans of slime,
Krongu's grip started slipping with this slew of innovations,
There was now competition from some new corporations.

There were so many style, and it all seemed so nice
These miles of aisles of life's merchandise.
Some tiny, some giant, some could chirp some could buzz,
Rebellious or compliant, with scales, feathers or fuzz.

Some were stupid as turnips, some were lowly as corals,
Some had high-minded concepts, dreams and ideas and morals.
Some were fanged, some were toothless, some were sweet, some were salty,
They were popular but useless, they were pretty but faulty.

Yes I guess I got fleeced, I got baited and hooked,
By each dream and each beast that didn't work as good as it looked,
'cos each one crapped out and broke. Built to last? forget it,
Get a refund? that's a joke, you can't even exchange for store credit.

Someone do some muck-raking, an expose, a news tip-off,
This whole store is a heartbreaking, fraudulent rip-off.
Forget friends, family, dreams, hearts, trees, birds, dogs, snakes,
Forget you, forget me, it's just cheap stuff that breaks.

And in the land after time, and the time after land,
They'll just roll-out the slime in the most trusted brand.
When push comes to shove it'll be Krongu. No dismissals, no disbarments.
No more tears, no more love, no more crew of disposable varmints.

'Cos before the land before time, there was a time before land,
When the world was just slime and Krongu was the brand.
Yes Krongu green sludge, was the popular item,
There might have been better sludges, but no-one ever tried 'em.