The Laughing Gnome Lyrics

I was walking down the Height Street
When I heard foot steps behind me
And there was a little old man
Starlet and grey, chapling away

Well, he trotted back to my house
And he sat beside the deli
With his tiny hands on his tummy
Chapling away, laughing all day

Oh, I'll have to report you to the gnome office, gnome office
Hahaha - Hihihi
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't get me
Hahaha - Hihihi
I'm a laughing gnome and you can't get me
Said the laughing gnome

Well, I gave him roasted toadstools
And a glass of dandelion wine
Then I put him on a train to Eastbourne
Carried his bag and gave him a fag
I'm going to be all right boy
Hey, where do you come from
Gnome man land - Oh, really

In the morning when I woke up
He was sitting on the edge of my bed
With his brother whose name was Fred
He brought him along to sing me a song
All right, let's hear it
Yeah, what's that clicking noise
That's Fred, he's a lectric man

And didn't you got a home to got to
Ho, we're no lands
Didn't they lead you to get your airgut at school
You look like a rolling gnome
No, not at the London School of Economics

Now they're staying at the chimney
And we're living on caviar and honey - hurray
'Cause they're earning me lots of money
Writing comedy prose for radio shows
It's you, it's the gnome service of course