Me and Eugene Songtext

von 4d-ykes

I was minding my business just driving down the road
When I felt the need for something wet and cold
So I pulled off the freeway at the next town
And found a little place where I could toss one down...

I left my buddy Eugene asleep in the car
And grabbed a seat up at the bar
I ordered a beer and started drinking it down
When I felt some eyes on me, so I turned around......

Well sure enough, there was some guy
With no front teeth trying to give me the eye.
Then he hikes up his pants and starts walkin? towards me,
He was just another redneck from what I could see....

I called for the check, thinking, 'time to go?
When he says ?Hey, baby, my name's Jimbo.
Me and my buddies, Leroy and Clyde
Are wondering about what we seen outside.....

Now they're telling me that rainbow flag
Means that you must be some kinda fag
And I'm telling them that just ain't right
Cuz a perty girl like you can't be no dyke!...?
(So what does a dyke look like?)
I think it looks like Jody Foster?
Jamie Lee Curtis?
Kimmy?
K.C.?
Renaye?
Me?
I think it looks like that pretty girl in black
Way in the back

Guess I'll have to agree with your friends,
Yes, it's true, I don't date men.
If you looked in the mirror, you?d see why,?
When naturally, he starts rubbing his fly.....

He said, ?Girl, if I gave you some of this,
I know you?d be cured. C?mon, give us a kiss.?
There I was thinking, ?What is this shit?
Does every man think he's got the magic dick??....ick!

Just about the time he was grabbing for me,
I took him down with a well placed knee,
His buddies jumped up and started heading my way,
And I'm trying to figure how to get away.....

About that time the front door opened,
And I was praying and I was hoping,
Sure enough, in walks Eugene,
The six-foot-six ex marine....

He said, ?Boys, you?d better think twice
About treating that lady anything but nice.
Cause I guarantee I'll break you in two,
And throw the pieces out back in the slew!?......

Well, those guys turned white, and then turned a little green,
Ran out the door as fast as could be.
I leaned over and I said to Eugene.........

?It's a damn good thing they don't know you're a queen!?

My, My!
We better get out of this joint
I could have broke a nail
It might be dangerous around here
I got a run in my panty hose
They all got family tree's ain't got no branches
I believe that!
See ya
Ta Ta now!