Bad Kids Show Host Songtext

von Wally Pleasant

I kids!
How are you today?
Well I'm glad to hear that.
Today we're going to do a science experiment.
Do you like science?
Yeah, me too.
I want you all to go outside and look at the sun.
Isn't it beautiful?
The sun is 93 million miles away and it heats are entire solar system.
Pretty neat, huh?
Now just keep looking at the sun.
Don't turn your head away silly.
See those white spots in your eyes that's your corneas burning up.
Can you say permanent optical damage?
Gooood!

Oh, I'm the bad kids show host
On PBS from coast to coast
You should listen to me instead of your mom and dad
And Barney the dinosaur
Is just a prehistoric bore
Cause he doesn't now to be evil and bad.

Okay kids, today were going to learn a new word.
Hate.
That's h-a-t-e.
As in, I hate you. You stupid little brats.
Isn't it fun to tease?
Speaking of hate. I've gotten a lot of letters from your parents lately.
Mean letters. I don't think they like me very much.
I don't think they like you either.
Oh, all except for you mom Billy. Your mom likes me a lot.
Can you say adultery?
Yeah, you got it.
Well that just about wraps up our lesson for today.
But before I go I want you to remember who your real friend is.
Any ideas?
It's me!
That's right I'm the one who gives you cigarettes.
Yipeeeeeeeeee!

Oh, I'm the bad kids show host
On PBS from coast to coast
You should listen to me instead of your mom and dad
And Barney the dinosaur
Is just a prehistoric bore
Cause he doesn't now to be evil and bad.

Don't forget satanic Tuesdays.
Bring your pentagrams.