My Perfect Cousin Lyrics

Now I've got a cousin called Kevin
He's sure to go to heaven
Always spotless clean and neat
As smooth as you'll get them
He's got a fur-lined sheepskin jacket
My Ma said they cost a packet
But she won't even let me explain
That me and Kevin are just not the same

Oh my perfect cousin
What I like to do he doesn't
He's his family's pride and joy
His mohter's little golden boy!

He's got a degree in economics
Maths, physics and bionics!
He thinks that I'm a cabbage
'cause I hate university challenge
Even at the age of ten
Smartboy Kevin was a smartboy then
He always beat me at subbuteo
'cause he flicked to kick and I didn't know

His mother bought him a synthesizer
Got the Human League in to advise her
Now he's making lots of noise
Playing along with the artschool boys
Girls try to attract his attention
But what a shame, it's in vain, total rejection
But he'll never be left on the shelf
'cause Kevin, he's in love with himself!