I notice a policeman
He's always on our street
A fat and jolly red-faced man
He really is a treat
He's too kind for a policeman
He's never known to frown
And everybody says
He is the happiest man in town!
He laughs while he's on duty
He laughs while on his beat
He laughs at everybody
When he's walking down the street
He never can stop laughing
He says he's never tried
But once he did arrest a man
And laughed until he cried!
His jolly face is wrinkled
And then he shut his eyes
He opened up his great big mouth
It was a wonderous size!
He said: "I must arrest you!"
He didn't know what for
And then he started laughing
Until he cracked his jaw!
Now if you chance to meet him
While walking 'round the town
Shake him by his fat ol' hand
And give him half a crown
His eyes will glint and sparkle
He'll gurgle with delight
And then you'll start him laughing
With all his girth and might!