Ernie Cleans Up The Apartment Lyrics

Part One:
(Ernie, singing loudly and wordlessly, is throwing stuff around the living room.)
Bert: Hey, Ernie, cut that out! Cut that out! (Ernie stops.) Look at this mess! Boy, you are the sloppiest person I know! Now, if you don't get this place cleaned up, I'm gonna move in with Oscar. His garbage can's neater than this. Wow!
Ernie: Oh, don't worry, Bert, I'm gonna get this place so clean you wouldn't recognize it. I'm telling you, Bert, when I'm finished in here, you could eat off the floor!
Bert (mirthlessly): Ha, ha, ha. I'll believe that when I see it.
Ernie: Okay, stand back; just give me some room here ...
Part Two:
(The same scene. Ernie is humming and brushing some dirt into a dustpan.)
Bert (entering): Hey, Ernie, the place looks terrific! (I think Bert might have said some line here I don't recall.) Hey, are you finished?
Ernie: Well, just about, Bert. I gotta go clean out my toybox.

Bert: Well, go to it! It's beautiful!
Ernie: Okay, I gotta go clean out my toybox. (Takes things out of it, one at a time, then throws each one over his shoulder after naming it.) Let see, I got my Rubber Duckie. Don't want to forget that ... I got my paper-clip collection ... my X, to mark the Spot ... my dog, Spot ... that's his name, Spot ... Let's see, I got my worm collection ... old tape ... my football helmet ... my tinfoil ball ... a peanut butter sandwich ... Let's see ... down here ...
(Scene changes to show Bert standing nearby and sighing as the stuff lands around him.)