Now I was the youngest of thirteen kids
Growing up in a little country town
Never had much to eat and the first thing I could speak
Was patch it up and hand it down
Daddy hauled fill for a textile mill
Drank up what little money he made
We had a three room shack with a john out back
Only had paper when daddy got paid
Now somehow I growed up, a really fat kid
Though I never had enough to eat
Them old rich kids would laugh and beat on me
And their dogs would run me up and down the street
Yeah, they'd bite my ankles and tear my clothes
They all had fun with me
And as I got fatter, them dogs got badder
Things were 'bout as bad as they could be
Now, I'd always wanted me a puppy
But daddy said "They ain't no way
Ain't near enough food to feed our brood
And we ain't got none to give away"
Then one night, drunk, in a poker game
He won old Bill Teeter's hog
I kinda liked that Poland China
So I raised him like a dog
Them old rich kids all had puppies
But I never had no dog
It was always me and Bill Bill
The old fat boy and his hog
Now old Bill Bill'd foller me to school every day
And then waller outside and wait
And I used to take him fishin'
But he et up all the bait
And he wasn't no good at hunting, either
Cause everything I shot, he ate
He was so dadburned slow that everywhere we'd go
We always got there late
But all of my troubles, they ended one day
After Bill Bill got full growed
Them old rich kids waited for us after school
And jumped us when we come down the road
Well when the dust had settled and the fur stopped flying
Old Bill Bill grinned at me
'Cause howling rich kids and screamin' dogs
Was all that you could see
Well they must have learned a good lesson
They never bothered us after that day
Them old rich kids called us the two-ton terrors
And stayed out of our way
Yeah they all went off to fancy schools
The town got kind of dry of dogs
It was only me and Bill Bill
The old fat boy and his hog
Them old rich kids all had puppies
But I never had no dog
It was always me and Bill Bill
The old fat boy and his hog
Now that was all many years ago
And old Bill Bill's a long time gone
But things are a whole lot different now
'Bout the best I've ever known
Y'see Bill Bill got a little lonesome
Brought him a lady friend home one day
Now I got ten thousand, eight hundred and seventy two hogs
And several more on the way
Got me a thirteen thousand dollar pickup truck
I'm makin money so dad blamed fast
And I married me a fine southern lady
And she's teachin me a little class
And we just had a little baby boy
About as round as he is tall
And I reckon I'll call him Bill Bill
If he's got any guts at all
Them old rich kids all had puppies
But I never had no dog
It was always me and Bill Bill
The old fat boy and his hog
Writer(s): Roy Acuff
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