Belated Haftorah Songtext

von Rick Moranis

Well, here I am. I made it. Still can't believe I did this. See I didn't get Bar Mitzvah'd the first time around, when I was thirteen. It was my parents. They were commies and they wouldn't set foot in a shul. And they thought the post-war diaspora middle class were just appeasing their parents but had cynical bourgeois aspirations. But thank God for my wife, Shelley, whose father had a thriving auto parts business. And he took me in first as a bookkeeper. And soon enough I was running it. And she talked me into doing this so I wound up taking lessons at 46. And I got this new suit. Also a 46. Portly.
And it was told the King of Jericho, saying, Behold, there came men in hither to night of the children of Israel to search out the country
OK it's over. Hope I didn't make too much of a putz out of myself. It wouldn't be the first time. And don't think that the meaning escaped me. I read the thing a thousand times. And you know, this actually was sort of fun. I mean, being up here and hanging with these guys. And I really don't mind being here on a Saturday. Because I'm really not that good a golfer.