I know it s near the knuckle
But I can tell when I see a real man
When it comes to reality
I ve only just began
You ve got a grasp of the real situation
I just blunder about in a close
Approximation
You know a lot of people your always drinking with your friend
You low a lot of people
When you ve got a lot to send
I m not a real woman
I don t nod my head
And patiently wait
For your favours in bed
I don t wear lace panties
At waist away prices
Or bondage and scanties
At masochist dances
I m not a real woman
I don t waggle my hips
Or flap my eye lids
Or shapple my lips
And I m not a lemon
So please don t squezze out my pips
Im not a real woman
I don t aim to please
Or twinkle my knickers
Or garter my knees
The nails on my fingers
Are tattered and torn
I have had dirty fingers
Since the day I was born
Im not a real woman
I m not a real woman
I don t nod my head
And patiently wait
For your favours in bed
And i'm not a lemon
So squeeze your own instead
I m generous I m mean
I m a law onto myself
And I just laugh at everything you say
Don t be surprised
If I don t look into your eyes
My eyes are on a million miles away
I m not a real woman
I won t cook your food
I m not on page 3
Drinking gin in the nude
I m board by your laundry
And board by your jokes
Why don t you save them
To tell other blokes
I don t need no favours
I don t need no please
I don t need no bozo
To tickle my knees
And I m no lamb chop
So don t fork my peas
I m generous I m mean
I m a law onto myself
And I just laugh at everything you say
Don t be surprised
If I don t look into your eyes
My eyes are on a million miles away
I m not a real woman
I don t look divine
I only like children some of the time
And just like a man must be well hung
To be a real woman
You have to be young
Hey your not so macho
By the look of that bunch
You can save your bananas
To eat with your lunch
Im not a real woman
I won t cook your food
And I only want sex
When im in the mood
I m generous I m mean
I m a law onto myself
And I just laugh at everything you say
Don t be surprised
If I don t look into your eyes
My eyes are on a million miles away
Im not a real woman
I won t cook your food
And I only want sex
When im in the mood
Writer(s): Mark Daniels, Sansom, Swales, Robins
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