I Felt Your Shape Lyrics

I thought I felt your shape but I was wrong.
Really all I felt was falsely strong.
I held on tight and closed my eyes.
It was dumb, I had no sense of your size.
It was dumb to hold so tight, but last night
On your birthday in the kitchen
My grip was loose. My eyes were open.
I felt your shape and heard you breathing.
I felt the rise and fall of your chest.
I felt your fall, your winter snows, your gusty blow, your lava flow.

I felt it all, your starry night, your lack of light.
With limp arms I can feel most of you.
I hung around your neck independently and my loss was overwhelmed by this new depth I don't think I ever felt.
But I don't know. My nights are cold still and I remember warmth. I could have sworn I wasn't alone.
No more hugging in the kitchen
No more pats on the back in the hall
No more chest on breasty chest behind the curtain
No more lip on nape of neck in shower stall
No more rosy gardens
No more craving curving
Hips on my belly
I'm giving up so I can be free from you
I'm paying fees so I can sever ties from you
Let craving call
And beg and bawl
And face it tall
Let my soft skin have more sweet soft air on me.
Let boulders drown.