If I had a car
I'd fill it up with gas
Drive to the country
Go lay in the grass
If I had a house
I'd paint my house yella
Wash me car in the drive
Like an ordinary fella
If I had a car...
If I had a fiance
I would marry her
Over the threshold
I'd carry her
If I had a house...
If I had a daughter
I'd always be sweet to her
My pretty wife
Would never let me beat her
If I had a wife...
If I had a son
I'd beat him with my fist
If I ever caught the boy
Messin' with his sister
If I had a daughter...
If I had sense
I wouldn't sing this song
I wouldn't get drunk
And go on and on
About if I had a son...