Bob Dylan's 115th dream Songtext

von Mike Peters

I was riding on the Mayflower
When I thought I spot some land
I shouted for Captain Ahab
I'll have you understand
Who came running to the deck
Said boys forget the whale
We're going over yonder
Cut the engines, change the sails
All along the bow line
We sang that melody
Like all tough sailors do
When they're far away at sea

I think I'll call it America
I said as we hit land
I took a deep breath
I fell down I could not stand
Captain Ahab started writing up some deeds
He said lets set up a fort
And start buying the place with beads
Just then this cop comes down the street
Crazy as a loon
And throws us all in jail
For carrying harpoons

Ah, me I busted out
Don't even ask me how
I went to get some help
I walked by a Guernsey cow
Who directed me down to the Bowery slums
Where people were carrying signs around
Saying ban the bombs
I jumped right into line
Saying I hope that I'm not late
When I realised I hadn't eaten for five days straight

I went into a restaurant
Looking for a cook
I told him I was the editor
Of a famous etiquette book
The waiter he was handsome
He wore a bowder blue cape
I ordered some souzette
I said could you please make that crepe
Just then the whole kitchen exploded from boiling fat
Food was flying everywhere
I left without my hat

No I don't mean to be nosey
But I went into a bank
To get some bail for Ahab
And all the boys back in the tank
They asked me for some collatorall
And I pulled down my pants
They threw me in the alley
When up comes this girl from France
Who invited me back to her place
I went, but she had a friend
Who knocked me down
And robbed my boots
I was on the streets again

Well I rapped upon a house
With the US flag on display
I said "can you help me out
I got some friends down the way"
A man says "get out of here
I'll tear you limb from limb"
I said "you know they refused Jesus too"
He said "you're not him"
He said "get out of here before I break your bones
I ain't your pop"
I decided to have him arrested
I went looking for a cop

I ran outside
I hopped inside a cab
I went out the other door
This Englishman said "fab"
As he saw me leaping a hot dog stand
And a chariot that stood
Parked across from a building advertising brotherhood
I ran right through the front door
Like a homo sailor does
But it was just a funeral parlour
A man asked me who I was
I repeated that my friends were all in jail with a sigh
He gave me his card
He said "Call me if they die"
I shook his hand
Said goodbye
Ran into the street
When a bowling ball came down the road
Knocked me off my feet

Payphone was ringing
It just about blew my mind
When I picked it up
Said hello
A foot came down the line

Well by this time I was fed up
At trying to make a stab
About bringing any help
For all my friends and captain Ahab
I decided to flip a coin
Marked either head or tails
To let me know if I should go
Back to ship or back to jail
So I hawked my sailors suit
I got a coin to flip
It came up tails around my sails
So I made it back to the ship

Well I got back
Took the parking ticket off the mast
I was ripping it to shreads
When this coastcard boat went past
They asked me my name
I said Captain Kid
They believed me
But they wanted to know
What exactly that I did
I said for the pope of a rook
I was employed
They let me go right away
I was very paranoid

Well the last I heard of Ahab
He was stuck on a whale
That was married to the deputy sheriff of the jail
But the funniest thing was
As I was leaving the bay
I saw three ships sailing
They were all heading my way
I asked the captain what his name was
And how come he didn't drive a truck
He said his name was Columbus
I just said good luck

(one two three four)

As I was leaving on a space shuttle flight
I saw a dreamboat sailing
Passing me by
I radioed the captain
Asked him who he was
He said his name was Bob Dylan
I just said "Good Luck"