Bitchslap Songtext

von MC Hawking

Trash Talk
Doomsday, bring the funk
Oh, yah.
Yo. Ah.
Check this shit out

[Verse 1]
I roll straight pimping to the room of my lecture
Prepared to enrapture students with a mixture
Of hard-ass science and smooth-ass rhymes
So phat you can't fit in my class sometimes

I'm early. Popping wheelies in the hall
Showing off the hydraulics to the hotties' enthrall
Of the Hawk. And yo, who can blame them?
I only got one thing larger than my brainstem

One asks "How big are your rims?"
The answer's in my lap, the girl hopped in.
I cruised on to my appointed destination
Dropped the hottie in the front row, said "Be patient"

Now I'm rolling the chair with the bass turned up
See a bitch T.A. got my latte in a cup
I'm like "Fuck! I said Mocha only!
I'll smack you so hard your ghost will be lonely"

He says "No offense, Dr. H, but your keyboard
Challenges your dexterity, and I think more
Challenging still would be your rising to the occasion
Readying the back of your hand bend on swift administration"

Now I'm consumed by rage
I say I oughta bitchslap every last T.A.
He says "Yeah, you should. Wish you could!
But the arms you got don't extend that good."

I just smile as if all is forgiven
But the glint in my eye be crazy as living
On time that's been borrowed that I'll soon collect
When I teach a hard lesson in Cause-And-Effect

Bitch thinks he's only showing off for his peers
He's a newbie T.A. who does not know the fear
And respect that is due to the Hawk and his crew
But he'll learn that and more by the time I'm through

He'll get a...

[Chorus]
Bitchslap (Ow!)
Oh, snap
Punk motherfucker ain't worth a cap
And his S-flap (Ugh!)
Proved that
No need for the gat
Or the baseball bat
Just a bitchslap (Ah!)
Oh, snap
Punk motherfucker ain't worth a cap
And his S-flap (Ow!)
Proved that
How'd I ever get a bitch T.A. like that?
Bitchslap.

[Verse 2]
Stayed up late that night, yo, very busy
Got shizzy to dizzy-dazzle in the labora-tizzy
Servos, motors, chains and gears
Mechanisms, the purpose of which is unclear

Got all I need, my brain and a screwdriver
The Hawk rocks inventing. Fuck MacGyver!
I got in mind, a practical design
For a device to help keep T.A.'s in line

Next day, all is ready. The punk is oblivious
No concept of how doomed he already is
Cup in hand, again the wrong flavor
I pause as he smirks so as I can savor

The moment, then I say
"Bitch, I said Mocha. Now you get a slapping."
T.A. said "No, sir. I don't believe
That I'll receive, one of those from you.
But if you posit otherwise, let's see what you can do.

I was cool, made sure he understood
Then hit the button labeled "Extend that good"
With a whizz and a whir, unfolding from the chair
Came the robot arm shooting up into the air

Wound back with a click, then aimed at the bitch
Steel palm, chrome nickel on the backside switch
It connected with the T.A.'s head. Velocity hi-yo!
Kinetic transfer to his pie-hole

His head snapped back, his neck went crack
He stood for a moment then his legs went flat
My other T.A.'s who'd been brimming when he spoke
Got a serious expression on their faces, so

I just rolled real slow on up to the lecture
The lesson today, the Hawk can wreck your
Whole shit, so don't test
Or I'll put you on the list to get bitchslapped next

[Chorus]

Ah, yah.
MC Hawking kicking it with MC Frontalot
(Says yep.)
Let this be a lesson to all you punk bitches out there
The Hawk can wreck your whole shit, so don't test.
A'ight. We be geese.
Peace.