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Single Songtext

SAMMY
No one tells you how you ought to live
No one glares when you do jello shooters

GUYS
Jello

SAMMY
No one says that you're insensitive cause her birthday meal took place at Hooters

GUYS
Hooters

SAMMY
No one tells you that your bald spot's grown
Or that you ought to tone your flab

GUYS
Tone your flab

SAMMY
So pour a double gin
Here's to your double chin

ALL
Yeah, start the party
Start a tab

SAMMY
Cause you're

ALL
Single

SAMMY
You are

ALL
Single

SAMMY
And you'll keep staying single if you're smart

GUYS
If you are smart

SAMMY
Yeah, you're single
You are single
No chick will ever moonwalk on your heart

GUYS
Moonwalk on your heart

SAMMY
Trust me

ALL
This is when the good times really start

SAMMY
No one minds the laundry on your floor

RICKY
No one pouts with every chick you look at

BUM
No one tries to clean your porno drawer

SAMMY
No one traps you with

SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM
"Does my ass look fat?"

GEORGE
Bust a move in womens's underwear
While you're blasting Cher or Wham

GUYS
Cher or Wham!

SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM
So fill your ranger's cup
The toilet seat stays up
The fridge gets stocked with beer and spam

GEORGE
Cause you're

ALL
Single

GEORGE
You are

ALL
Single

GEORGE
Not a care in the world can bother you

GUYS
Can bother you

GEORGE
You are single
You are single
You can do what you've always wanted to

GUYS
Always wanted to

GEORGE
Well, no commitments

SAMMY, GEORGE, RICKY & BUM
Cause you're only passing through

(rap)
RICKY
Yo, making a date with some needy girl
Is a waste of my time and my Jheri Curl

SAMMY
I don't need a girl who don't understand
When I got a date with my left hand

BUM
Well, I like the ladies, heaven knows
But in the words in Nietzsche, "Bro's before Ho's"

GEORGE
Now, I don't like a girl who'll cry and bawl
In fact, I never liked girls at all

ROBBIE
Sammy, George, Ricky and Bum
I'm starting to see where you're coming from

ROBBIE
Cause I'm

ALL
Single

ROBBIE
Oh, yeah

ALL
Single

ROBBIE
I'll behave like a dude's meant to behave

GUYS
Meant to behave

ROBBIE
Always single
Ever single
Single now and till I'm in my grave

ALL
Single till I am lying in my grave

SAMMY
Though at times I might want someone to hold me tight
And promise me that everything'll be all right

(spoken)
BUM
Everything'll be all right.

SAMMY
Thanks, man.

(sung)
ALL
I'll stay single till I'm rotting slowly in my lonely forgotten grave
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