I'm No Russian Songtext

von Jimmy Buffett

I'm no Russian
Not even Prussian
Doorman at the yacht club
Was my one claim to fame

Some say I'm nervy
Hell, I'm from Jersey
This chasin' money
Can do things to your brain

How does a shore boy like me
Wind up out on the Black Sea

Dropped out of Harvard
Then joined the Coast Guard
Manned a faithful 50
On a boat in Gitmo

Did my duty
But missed the booty
I heard that St. Barth
Was the place I should go

How could a coastie like me
Sail off into infamy

I couldn't surf or sing or play the guitar
All I ever did was steal an oligarch's car
My million dollar joy ride was not the perfect crime
And those bad boys from Little Odessa
Don't believe in wasting time

A Lamborghini Elemento
Ain't your average island car
"Park it close" the driver told me
Sounding like some kind of czar
With a bucket of Cristal
And devil weed inside
I thought it would be crazy
Not to take a ride

Flying through Gustavia
Passing Mini Mokes
Gendarmes at the roundabout
Didn't get the joke
Speeding down the hill
Like a Dassault Mirage
Parked it on the runway
And headed for la plage

Bar on fire
Din of desire
Dancing on a table
She was waving me in

Her name was Kira
She knew no fear-a
Then introduced me to her vampirish friends

I'd never seen such a girl