BE DEUTSCH! Songtext

von Jan Böhmermann

Wake up, Deutschland, sleeping beauty
Can you hear your Call of Duty?
The world has gone completely nuts
That's why we're back to help, mein Schatz
Achtung! Germans on the rise,
But this time we are fucking nice!
Authoritarian nationalist dorks
So tough with your torches and pitchforks.
You are not the people, you are the past.
The true Germans come for you! Better run fast!
Ten million bicycle helmets in sight,
Jack Wolfskin jackets marching trough the night,
Birkenstocks stomp the ground,
Munching Kebab and Müsli, earth-shattering sound!
Guten Tag, the true Germans are here!
We are Xenophobic's biggest fear!
You call for strong leaders, for fences and walls!
But being like us takes bigger balls.
Cause we are...
DEUTSCH - nice
DEUTSCH - liberal
DEUTSCH - compassionate
DEUTSCH - considerate
DEUTSCH - reasonable
DEUTSCH - social
DEUTSCH - temperate
DEUTSCH - peaceful
Say it clear, say it loud:
We are proud of not being proud!
We are here to remind you,
That we have once been stupid, too.
Maniacs with wicked hair
Ja, ja, ja, we have already been there!
Trust our Teutonic expertise,
We know where assholery leads...
You have an election to vote for the best
But we see it more like an IQ-Test.
You failed!
We've learned our lesson so take our advice,
Hold together, try to be nice and...
DEUTSCH - open
DEUTSCH - multi-cultural
DEUTSCH - modest
DEUTSCH - help the weak and poor
DEUTSCH - neighbors
DEUTSCH - tolerant
DEUTSCH - Grundgesetz
DEUTSCH - Dosenpfand
Say it clear, say it loud:
We are proud of not being proud!
Human dignity is unimpeachable!
You will learn, if even we were teachable!
We are no longer murderous vandals!
BE NICE!
Or we'll come for you in socks and sandals
Reserving your sun loungers with our towels,
Vegane sausage in our bowels...
Hey, you dickheads,
Take a good look at these legal citizens
Of the Bundesrepublik Deutschland
In the year 2016!
It's perfectly legal for them
To do whatever the fuck they want to do,
You stupid shit for brains.
And do you want to know why, fuckface?
Because they're fucking human beings,
Like you and everyone else.
Have you heared of the categorial imperative, asshole?
Read Kant, cunt!
He also was...
DEUTSCH - enlightened
DEUTSCH - responsible
DEUTSCH - we cycle
DEUTSCH - and recycle
DEUTSCH - Weltmeister
DEUTSCH - forgiving
DEUTSCH - Weizenbier
DEUTSCH - never forget
DEUTSCH - Fahrvergnügen
DEUTSCH - freedom of speech
DEUTSCH - european
DEUTSCH - unity
DEUTSCH - Fanta
DEUTSCH - diversity
DEUTSCH - selfless
We are Germany!
Not you, we!