Speed Trap Songtext

von Hoyt Axton

Hoyt Axton
Southbound
Speed Trap (Out of State Cars)
Speed Trap (Out of State Cars)
Hoyt Axton

I'm the cop in a little bitty town, and I don't get much pay.
But I've caught 17 out-of-state cars, and 4 of my friends today.
Well, I let the home-town boys go home, they paid $5.00 bail.
But all of them tourists in the out-of-state cars, had to go to jail.

Well, they hollered and they moaned — they cried and they groaned,
They all swore that they'd sue
But the judge was high, and so was I — and we needed the money too.

See, the judge and me got a deal you see — we split the money fair,
‘Cept for 20% to the county seat — to keep the law out of our hair.

And old Charlie's workin' out real good, down at the corner store where the red light is;
He sees them out-of-state plates 2 blocks away.
And when they get right up on top of that green light,
Old Charlie pushes that secret button underneath the corner drug store counter.
That yellow light only lasts for a tenth of a second.

See, the county pays me about forty a week — can't get the livin' in.
If it wasn't for the tourists and those out-of-state cars, I'd have no loot to spend.

But the way it stands this year so far, I've made a hundred thou,
For a high school drop-out I'm a doin' fine,
I make more than the president now — ‘course he's honest!
So, if you're drivin' down the road, and flashin' lights you see,
If they're on top of a red Rolls Royce, you can bet your boots it's me.

‘Cause I'm the cop in a little bitty town, and I'd sure like to see
All you drivers in them out-of-state cars try to get by me.