Trumpton Riots Songtext

von Half Man Half Biscuit

Ow!

Oh! Oh! Oh!
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Unemployments rising
In the Chigley end of town.
And it's speading like pneumonia;
Doesn't look like going down.
There's trouble at the fire station;
Someone's had the sack.
And the lads have organised a scheme
To get rid of Captain Black.

Tell PC McGarry
To get himself a mate.
And arm themselves with C.S.Gas
They're gonna be out late.
We've had Kant conformism since 1966.
And now subversions in the air
In the shape of flying bricks!

[Chorus]
Someone get a message through
To Captain Snort

That they better start assembling
The boys from the fort.
Keep Mrs. Honeyman right out of sight,
'Cause there's gonna be riot
Down in Trumpton Tonight.

All this aristocracy
Has really got to stop.
We'll overthrow the surgery
And kidnap Doctor Mop
And Chigley Militant Socialists
Will storm the market square
And make plans to assasinate
Our autocratic mayor!

Windy Militant rages past
With Corn grinders to war
With windmill sails and bombs with nails
They smash the town hall door.
But Snorty and the boys arrive
With one big erstwhile crew
Whereupon they bring about
A military coup.

[Chorus: x 2]