Skit Songtext

von Bizzy Bone

Lil' Mike (Mohagony)
{flipping through channels on television and lighting up}
Man, ain't shit on TV. (Lil' Mike what the hell are you doin' down there) Bored as hell, smokin' this weed. (Lil' Mike) Chillin'. Hey what time is it? (Fuck what time it is, you better not have them ho assed bitches down there) Matter of fact, I know what time it is. My favorite motherfuckin' show. Here we go.
Big B (Bizzy)
So, listen. So, he come in the office (Uh Huh) Man, this funny lookin' motherfucker so... I know it's gonna be mysterious anyway cause of the way he dress. So he come in and he want me to, you know, regular shit, you know, he want me to follow his wife man. (Right) He think his wife cheatin' on him (Okay) So he give the information, I'm like what, right (Right) have a seat. Give me the information. He's givin' me the shit man. Man, I'm writin' down the shit, I ain't payin' attention. Man, I'm fuckin' her. (Oh) {phone rings} I look on the address that he givin' me (Bullshit) And I'm fuckin' the bitch! (You bullshittin')
Big B (Mr. Cummins)
B 'n B Detective Agency. May I help you? (Yeah, can I speak with Mr. Bill Louis please) This is Detective Louis, can I help you? (Uh, yeah. This is Mr. Peter Cummins and uhm I was wondering if you've found anything about my wife) Well, as a matter of fact... as a matter of fact, I... what I have Mr. Cummins uh... I, I, I... I got it, I think it's a tall my white man. A tall white man. Uh, mail man, milk man, cable man. Something to that sort. (Oh is that right. Have you got the pictures for me? Have you got any of the pictures?) [B 'n B Detective Agency.] Well, I haven't got a chance to get any pictures but I got sources, I got sources. (Sources?) I got sources Mr. Cummins. (Well see, uh) Yes, sir. Yes, sir. (Well see, well well see, my source tells me that its a big fat greesy nigger) Huh? (Yeah, yeah. No, no listen to this. I got out and open my wifes Acura door) Uh huh. (And there's his stretched out, greesy ass stebockin' cap) Bullshit. (It greesy and jerry curls on the headrest. Man, I mean...) Motherfucker. (I mean, I mean...) Man, I don't think... it ain't no fuckin' jerry curl (so I want to know where this white mans comin' from) Uh, well... Well I... Well, Mr. Cummin. [Hello?] Where the fuck... (Can you tell me why there'd be a big fat greesy ass nigger in my wifes car) Mr. Cummin don't say nigger again here, sir. Don't say nigger again Mr. Cummin. (Well, I mean I just what to know what I saw cause I know it ain't no blonde man) Look Mr. Cummin. Listen. Listen. Mr. Cummin, I'm the Detective... (Cause that was no blonde lock in my wife's car) I'll call you back. (No, no) I'll call you back (Yeah, yeah you do that. You do that Mr... You do that Mr...) I'll call you back with some information. I'll call you right back. {hangs up abruptly}
Big B (Bizzy)
Goddamnit, B... (That was him! That was him!) Gimme the motherfuckin' cell phone. You Stupid ass bitch. You stupid ass bitch.
Big B (Mrs. Cummins)
(Hello?) You stupid bitch. (Hello, Louis?) You know who the fuck it is. What the fuck, what the fuck... What the fuck you been tellin' your motherfuckin' husband. (What are you talkin' about?) Goddamnit, how the fuck he know I'm fat? How the fuck he know I'm fat! What? (What?) What the fuck did you tell him? (I didn't tell him nothin') Uh. he call the... He call the motherfuckin' office talkin' about Jerry Curl and all kinds of shit. How the fuck he'd know about Jerry Curl. I ain't got no fuckin' Jerry Curl. (I don't know what you're talkin' about) Listen, you stupid assed bitch. It's over.
Bizzy
And that concludes the story of two of the dirtiest Detectives that ever walked the face of this Earth. B 'n B Detective Agency. Louis Billops at your service.