I sweep the floor to pay for my ticket.
I stand in line at the lottery wicket.
Thinkin' ‘bout the day that I'll win,
And how I'll spend my cash when my number comes in.
I'll have people to see, and things to do
I've got an appointment with my haberdasher at 2: 00
Like to stay and chat but I got no time to spare
I got a cozy little date at Le Club Très Chère
We got a box seat at the very best venue.
And I'll get the waiter to read me the French menu.
We'll start out with peaches and cream,
And tonight I got a taste for Alsatian cuisine.
And no one cares if you're fat when you got bread
‘Cause if your looks won't kill your cash will knock them dead!
I'll have a sweet steady girl and two on the side
And every skirt I know will want to be my bride
I'll be a man around town, a real V.I.P.
I'll be the brand new toast of high society.
And I'll take my buddies out drinkin' and howlin' at the moon.
And my mornin' won't start until well into the afternoon.
I'll take breakfast in bed in my silk pajamas
Tangerines and red bananas
When I sweeten my java I'll be feeling no pain,
I'll have a sugar bowl full of pure cocaine
Yeah they'll be callin' me the Sultan of Sin.
When my number comes in.
Well, let me see:
I'll have places to be, and people to see.
Must postpone that business lunch until 3: 00
There's the man who makes my shirts and the boy who shines my shoes;
You know I gotta look my best when I'm on the six o'clock news
And so for the Rolls, best get a mechanic
And a dermatologist to make me look more photogenic,
And after all this, well, just to be sure,
There's the shave, massage and haircut, and manicure!
And I'll spend my money, honey, any which way I please!
‘Cause us upper-crust folks we got our expensive needs
I'll have a different zoot-suit for every day of the year;
Hounds-tooth, herring-bone, sharkskin and cashmere,
A hundred pair of shoes that will never touch the ground!
A rolling jazz band just to follow me around!
And you don't gotta take no shit when you got bread!
‘Cause you can hire some chump to take it for you instead!
Well, first I'll quit my job, then I'll tell the foreman off,
Then I'll buy the whole company and fire my boss!
I'll buy a little place down by the seashore
And I won't have to live in this dump any more
They'll be sorry they didn't try to be my friend,
When my number comes in!
Open up them golden gates and let me in baby!
Writer(s): Big Rude Jake
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