Able Seaman Sperm Lyrics

Who's on a mission in the deep blue sea,
Keeping a watch for the enemy,
Meeting danger at every turn?
Able Seaman Sperm.

Who goes visiting in every port,
Keeping his fingers crossed he won't get caught?
Who is resolute and really firm?
Able Seaman Sperm.

They call him Jolly Roger when he hoists up the sail –
He likes to keep ahead and has a hell of a tale.
He once came in a packet from Zanzibar
And steered his way home by the Northern Star...

Oh, who is a hero, much maligned;
A cheeky chappie and a fertile mind;
Quivering quietly from stem to stern?
Able Seaman Sperm.

They call him Jolly Roger, and he'll swear and he'll cuss.
He suffers from a war wound he will never discuss.
He caught it in the packet from Zanzibar
Where he steered his way home by the Northern Star...

Oh, who's spent a fair bit of time inside,
Guilty as charged, along for the ride?
Who has never ever served full term?
Able Seaman Sperm.