Hey Asshole Songtext

von 1000 Homo DJs

Hey, hey you, hey you punk, yeah that's right pull over now. Pull over now. I said pull it over! That's right. Let me see some ID. Let me see your license. What is this? What is this? This says "expired". Alright, get the fuck out of the car now.
What is that? Get a fucking hair... What is that fucking long hair? Get a haircut. Hey Joe, look at this guy! Can you see this? He's a fucking sissy. That's right. Alright, up against the car now. That's right, spread'em! I said spread'em!
You punk. Look at you, you fucking punk.
What rights? You want to hear your rights? Fuck your rights. Spread'em. Hey, you want to spend the night in county, huh? Huh? What do you think you are? Huh? You think you're fucking smart? Why I ought to... Hey what is that, punk? What did you call me? You call me "pig"? I'll fucking throw you down so fast... Fuck you. You punk. Alright, fuck you. Where did you get this fucking car anyways? What is this, a Dodge? Fucking '69 Dodge? You're driving... You got a license for this? You got plates? Where's the plates on this thing? I'll bet you ain't got any insurance. You're driving around with no insurance, aren't you? Hey Joe, look at this guy. Alright, hey, what do you ... what's with your bitch? Get her out ... You, bitch, get out of the car now, too. Yeah that's right. Spread'em! Get a fucking haircut! You got a job? What kind of job? Get a real job, punk!
All right, freeze! Stay right where you are, don't move a fucking inch. Don't move a muscle. That's right, down, down on the floor, get down. On your tummy. Spread'em! What is this? What do we got here? A package. You got a package. What is this doing? White package. Oh, I see, yeah, you're a fucking drug addict. You're a fucking drug addict! Get a fucking job!
What's with your chick? She fucking ... Oh, Jesus Christ, she's got an earing in her nose! Joe, look at this chick! She's fucking sick. My God! I hope she don't fucking hang around with chicks ... I don't want my fucking daughter ... Oh God, what a nightmare! Quit your fucking whining. I don't want to hear about it. Get in the back ... Look, I don't want to hear about your fucking rights. You got one right. You got the right to get in the back seat of the car now. You got it? What? What was that? I didn't hear that. I didn't fucking hear that. Look, that's it. You're going down now. That's it. And what's with that fucking earing? What are you a fag? You some kind of fucking sissy, huh? That's right, you're going down with me ... and you too ma'am. Let's go. I'm sorry, I don't want to hear about it. I don't want to hear your crying. You're with him. Don't give me this. Let's see the fucking shit in your pockets. Come on. You're coming with me now.
Hey look, I can make this real easy. I can just beat the shit out of you and drop you off somewhere and fuck the report. You know I got three fucking pages of reports in triplicate. So fuck you. You give me any hard time I'm going to fuck you up. You understand? You see this fucking gun right here? I'll drill you so full of holes you won't know what the fuck hit you.
My God, you're basically crying. God dammit, she sounds like a fucking ... blaugh. Oh she's annoying! Oh my God she sounds like fucking ... uh ... what the hell is that ... Joe, who is that bitch that whines all the time? That, uh, Erma Bombeck or somebody?
All right, open up the trunk. That's right. What's with the bat? What's with the bat in the back seat? What, do you play baseball? Oh I see. Oh you're a gangbanger. Let me see your fucking signs, let me see your colors. You got colors? I got colors. Right here. Fucking black and blue all over your face.
What, are you representing? You want to throw down, punk, huh?
You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to an attorney. If you don't have the money for an attorney, an attorney will be appointed for you. If you give up this right, then everything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. Do you understand? Oh, fuck you, I don't care if you understand. Get in the fucking back seat now! Spread'em, punk! Punk, I ought to give you a haircut right now. Hey Joe, get me my fucking razorblade. I'm cutting this kid's hair now. Look at him. He looks like a fucking asshole. He's a sissy. He's a fucking faggot. He drives a Dodge! Where are you from? Are you from the south side? Ohhh! Punk. You're a punk. I eat you for breakfast you little fucking weasel.
Look at his fucking mug on this picture on his license. He looks so decrepit I can't believe it. He's got a face only a mother could hate.
Freeze, asshole! Freeze, you fucking son of a bitch! Look, hey, I'm fucking too fat to be chasing you around. I'll fucking drill you full of holes, you punk. Quit your fucking running around. Hey look, I'm going to kill you now! Then I'll throw you out in the back seat, out in a back alley on the fucking south side and no one will ever know what the fuck happened to you. In the river with you, you punk.
That's right, you want to spend the night in county, huh? Huh? You punk, huh? You got a job? Get a job!
Oh! What's this bag here? You got a bag of powder? Why don't you give me some and we'll forget about it. That's right. Yeah alright, so what. Yeah, well, yeah what am I? - fucking God? I'm human too. You know, you fucking punks you think we're all fucking the same. We're human! We got feelings! You treat us like shit, you treat us like fucking pigs. If it wasn't for us you little punks would be beaten up by some fucking nazi somewhere.
(Woman: Oh, not those handcuffs. I want the fur-lined ones.)
Hey you like my boots?