Fast Forward slows down to play but this ain't no game.
Except the shit in my brain in my head
Nothing remains the same around me.
Insane thoughts caught me once.
My mind's captured in endless loops, can't help to blow a fuse.
Back in the days, I thought I was a roughneck but now I'm wrecked.
All types of B-movies become real in my head.
My memory, please, won't you let me
And let in some light to guide me out of my past
Brighten this nightlike darkness inside.
Held prisoner in my braincells, take a glance through my eyelense,
Images of memorized violence.
You could never fathom the dephts that I've been in
And you would never believe in the things I've seen, that can't be seen.
In words: taking heads to the kerb, it hits, it hurts, it bursts.
Death passes so slowly, it's the first day of birth.
Eye to eye with the beast through a mist of blood.
I fall my fist clenched strange how life could change this fast
And you see how fragile it is.
Take care of my soul, my little sister
I swear without you I wouldn't be here.
You know it: I did not exagerate,
When I said it an emotional ghetto in the heart I got it.
Shit! I know that it would have been the same,
Even if I ate tons of Prozac.
It's hard to keep my head up, frustated.
Maimed, but shame I feel the same, what is Pain?
Restrain this self-pitty Reality's: life's dangerous and deadly.
You'll remember me when you're fucked up and you're lost.
I can't stop the teardrops from falling.
So if you see me, don't smile.
I got a hotline to hell, triple six is what I will dial.
Back is the devil, coming for my ass downstairs in my nightmares
But who dares to stop him and who can and who cares if I lose my soul.
Trying not to fall, but after all I lose hold, trip and lose the control.
"No one's living the life that I live."
I gotcha Nightmares I capture on paper and tape in rapture.
Writing means danger to me, can't help going insane.
Yo I don't know it anymore have my thoughts also been there before
Or are they second hand implants I forced to grow.
Somehow imagination runs amok as I self destruct.
Visions so vivid ... I'm getting drugged up on bad luck.
There's no protection to save me, no self deception.
While I'm trying to relax, I'm attacked by flashbacks.
Conflicts I seek or create myself because I'm sick,
It's like celebrating self-hatred in my lyrics.
Trying to flee by encoding obscure semetary poetry
Though I know this ain't a remedy.
Resignation is daily suicide.
No one can tell me what it'like to take life, to lose life.
First I denied and tried to hide thoughts like this when I write.
They're coming to me, they've allways been common to me.
The bottom of despair, that's where I come from.
I've been told to look towards the positive.
Ey, son, what can it give me,
Living in the haste of our days
It all seems to me like emotional waste.
I rap shit, quickness I inflict because I'm angry.
Evil seeds and a monster's breed I carry inside.
Bury my hopes and bury my pride, lower my sights.
Don't get it wrong, I'm not afraid to fight.
I don't fear death don't even fear life.
I got a bloody phantasy making all your demons envious and crazy.
Still I don't get it why I'm such a maniac,
Maybe it's because when you die, sometimes you come back.
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